Fear is that nattering voice inside our heads that says, you can’t, you shouldn’t, what if…. Fear keeps us from taking risks that might enrich our life or holds us back from doing some things we need to do. 
           
This isn’t to say that fear is all bad. At its best it’s an instinctive, natural ability to help us survive. Without fear we might attempt to stroll across freeways or scratch behind a lion’s ears. But given the upper hand, fear can dominate our life and make even the innocuous—asking for help or answering the phone—a daunting experience.
 
Ninety-nine percent of what we worry about never happens, according to Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., psychologist. “There’s a voice inside our heads that’s always heralding doom and disaster even before we get started on something,” she says.
 
Sheila loved to dance but she wouldn’t go out on the dance floor with her fiancé because she thought she’d look clumsy and ridiculous.
 
Arnie knew he deserved a raise, but he was so nervous about approaching his boss, he never asked for one.
 
Delia refrained from delegating tasks at work because she thought doing so would cause too much stress to her team.   
 
On its own, fear won’t disappear. Following are some strategies to help you deal with fears that might be holding you back from something you want or need to do.

1. Get information - In an information void, fear clicks in to do what it thinks is its job. But when you find out about what scares you, you replace fear with knowledge.
 
2. Learn how to do it - If there’s something you’d like to do, but you’re afraid to try, take lessons. We’re not born knowing how to ride horses or make pottery.
 
3. Find models - Let someone who’s not afraid model courage for you. Just as fearful behavior breeds the jitters, courageous behavior invites confidence.
 
4. Talk about your fears - Keeping your fears bottled up inside magnifies them. Taking them out into the light can shrink them. Find a good listener who won’t pooh-pooh your fears or make judgments.
 
5. Talk to yourself - Self-talk filled with positive messages can change fear energy into positive energy. Eliminate can't, shouldn't and ought-to from your self-talk vocabulary.
 
6. Use your imagination - Before you arrive at the party, imagine the other guests are as frightened as you are. Or see your audience as people who really want the information you have. Visualize yourself doing what you are afraid to do; see yourself as graceful, strong and capable.
 
7. Focus on the little things - Break things down in to smaller steps. Complete the report word by word, pay the bills one by one, see the group individual by individual.
 
8. Expand your comfort zone - Take a small risk each day. Make one phone call, ask for one thing you want, go to one new place. Little by little your confidence will expand, too.
 
9. Relax and breathe - Sometimes the physical response to fear creates even more fear. Physically relax your body and breathe in and out to release tension.
 
10. Ask for help - If your fears are not debilitating, but still get in the way of doing what you need or want to do, asking for help can make all the difference.


Author’s content used under license, © 2010 Claire Communications